So…What’s the Question? Asking questions about sex shows maturity!

In my clinic, 20 years ago, a teenager bravely asked her burning question, “Can I get pregnant from oral sex?”


Straight answer – plus!

After reassuring her that she couldn’t fall pregnant from oral sex (it’s part of the ‘pizza system’, not the ‘pregnancy system’), we could discuss other relevant issues – like sexually transmitted infections and consent.


Foundation for Sexy Smarts: No question that a child or teen asks will be ignored. Everyone has a right to have an accurate response. Often adults consider some topics ‘off limits’ to young people. Examples of these questions include: Why do we get ‘horny’? Is masturbation healthy or sinful? Do people choose to become gay?

Questions as ‘mirrors of society’: Questions often show how sexuality is handled in homes and society. Examples here include: Why don’t our parents want to talk about sex? How do I tell my mom I started my period? If I am raped, I’m scared my parents will not believe me. I’m not sure if I can trust my aunt not to share stuff about me on Facebook.

Questions provide a space for conversations. The questions from this blog post span a host of topics including relationships, sexual identity, sexual response, sexual physiology, sexual pressure / rape, technology, sexual ‘jargon’, sexual silence, masturbation, friendship and family trust etc. Sexuality is often reduced to ‘body parts’ and ‘babies’. It is clearly so very much more!! Sexy Smarts is all about creating conversations, based on the questions and conversations by younger and older teens. When we ‘Talk About It’ then we can create a supportive space for decision-making and personal growth.

Sexy Smarts Blogs. Future blogs will take some of these questions and conversations raised by young people as a starting point. We will add inputs that will hopefully of be interest to both young people who visit out site and ‘older’ young people who want to learn to ‘Talk About It’, too!

Download our Sexy Smarts Starter Skills. This is a basic document that sets a good foundation and answers some frequently asked questions.